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Unless the brand name of this particular product was “Their,” my eyes have once again been the victim of a misspelled sign. I hate that. I don’t own a sign but if I did, I would be sure to invest in a dictionary or at least look up any word on a spell-check program before I displayed it for all to see. It’s like the sign is saying, “I’m stupid and here’s where I work! Come buy from me! Duh!” I’ve seen hand-lettered signs advertising “puppys” and “garage sails.” My dad still laughs about the sign he saw that wanted you to buy their chicken “aigs.” But these are personal signs and I don’t hold individuals up to the same standard that I hold up to businesses. At the gym, ladies were told that they were invited to a special class: “Your invited!” I pointed out the sign to the front desk and suggested they make the correction. A few days later I went back and the sign was still there without any change. I told the manager. I went back. It was still there. In the end, I told seven different employees about the error, all of who laughed and agreed to make the change. Finally, they decided to fix the problem by removing the sign. I guess I wasn’t invited any more. I hate the preachy signs. You know what I mean. The businesses that can’t think up advertising slogans so instead they try and tell me how to live. It’s like a fortune cookie without the cookie and it just irritates me. If I had wanted a sermon, I would have gone to church. The help-wanted sign I saw today for a local fast food restaurant provided me with entertainment for most of the morning. It read: “WANTED: 1 FT COOK.” Now, I know that they meant they wanted a full-time cook but at first glance I thought, that must be some stove. It’s got to just about be flat on the floor to want a cook that is only one foot tall. Why don’t they just advertise for a “little, bitty feller” or a leprechaun? Then, I thought, no, no, no, what they meant to say is that they wanted a cook with only one foot but forgot to specify which foot. The applicant goes hopping in to apply for the job and they say, “Sorry, but we wanted someone with a right foot. You only have a left foot. We don’t hire your kind around here.” Again, that must be some stove. It’s so slim, you need someone to cook on it that only has one foot to stand on. If the cook were a woman, her name would have to be Eileen. Maybe they could advertise for a sideways cook instead. The most bizarre explanation is that they wanted someone who knew how to cook feet but only one at a time. “Are you the foot cook?” “No, sir, I’m the hand cook. The foot cook comes in this afternoon.” So if your business has a sign, please double check for spelling and misleading advertisements. Especially if it involves feet. |
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