Ten for Teens

TEN FOR TEENS

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	Ten for Teens
	Mascot Blues, Reds, Greens
	Sweat, Grunts and Groans

A while back, I was musing on how The Ten Commandments would have been different if God had started with children instead of Adam and Eve.

Well, what if God had started with teenagers? I know I said that He probably would have smote them before they had a chance to reproduce and that would have been the end of the human race but what if He showed His divine patience and decided to ride it out?

I am currently in possession of a teenage boy as my son just turned 13. My daughter is only 11 but has been practicing to be a teenager for years. She�s got the attitude, mouth and can say �Yeah, right� with just the perfect amount of disdain. It�s scary.

So if God had written The Ten Commandments for teenagers, maybe it would have come out like this.

-Thou shalt keep thy music down to a low roar. The Lord, your God, cannot believe you call that noise music but He still commands thee to keep the volume down to a reasonable level. Like �off.�

-Thou mayest not believeth it, but thou art mortal. Wear thine seatbelt at all times and use thine brains or I shall take them away from thee.

-Thou must go to bed when I commandeth so and thou shall rise before the crack of noon. Thine school and thine job shall not waiteth upon thee.

-Thou shall not stayeth in thine bathroom forever and a day. There are others who shareth the bathroom with thee and have limited bladder capacity.

-Strong spirits and other intoxicants shall not enter thy body upon punishment from the Lord your God in the form of an extreme hangover of divine proportions and intense grounding until thou collecteth Social Security checks. I Am who I Am and I know beer breath when I smelleth it.

-Thine hairbrush is thy friend and should be used on a regular basis. Thine hairdresser dependeth upon thee to earn a living and thou shall not disappoint.

-Thine body is more important than a temple. It needeth care more than just on Sundays and should be ready to present to Me because thou knoweth not when I shall ask it of thee.

-Homework is sacred and shall be turned in before the due date. Thou shall not attempt to feed it to thine pet dog, little sister or attempt to flush it down thine toilet. Dost thou not know the cost of plumbers?

-Thou shalt consider before thee disobeyeth Me, that I control lightening bolts, earthquakes, plagues and car keys. Devote thy mind upon these matters.

-There shall be no begatting before thou has finished college, findeth a good job and married a nice spouse.

But you know what? I don�t think teenagers would listen to Him, either.