The Whole Tooth So Help Me God

The Whole Tooth So Help Me God

	lynetteisfunny
	It's Weenie Dog!
	The Quest for the Holy Meal
	My Love
	scooby's Spring Fling
	Yum!
	Finding Food
	Jesus, It's Mom!
	E-Mail and Awards
	Awards (continued)
	Hope in Heaven
	Trial Hearing
	Let's Eat!
	sign Off
	slogans
	Tubing
	Under-Where
	Perspective
	A Rose by Any Other Name Would Still Stink
	Beam Dreams
	There and Back Again or When Frodo Visits Sam
	Mother of the Year...Not
	PMS SOS
	Bowl Me Over
	Rap It Up
	Kick Trick
	Problem in Translation
	And The Oscar Goes To
	Accent on Computers
	You're Kidding
	Changing Goals
	The Bread of Life
	The Whole Tooth So Help Me God
	Whose Birthday Is It Anyway?
	Ten for Teens
	Mascot Blues, Reds, Greens
	Sweat, Grunts and Groans

So far, I�ve lost my patience, temper and reason for living.

I can�t find my keys, glasses or waistline.

I�ve misplaced my marbles, mind and train of thought.

I�ve also forgotten my place, what I was going to say and why I wanted to be in the room I just walked into.

The only thing I can�t lose is weight.

I really thought it would be easy once I started having trouble with my teeth.
Seems that brushing, flossing and seeing the dentist twice a year doesn�t work.

It�s all a plot and I am the target.

I went in to get a crown replaced.
Quite proud of myself for taking care of a problem before it became serious, I walked out of the office with a temporary in place and a future appointment to put in the permanent crown in when it was ready. All was well or so I thought.

Ten days later, I was chewing on only the left side and I started feeling a severe pain on the right. Thinking I had popped the temporary crown, which I have done before, I rushed to the mirror only to see the temporary in its rightful position.

I went to the dentist who also could not find the problem. After a visit with a specialist, I found out I had to have a root canal.

Oh, boy. Just paint me tickled pink and mad as a wet hen.

And if you have never seen damp poultry, trust me, it is not a sight for the faint of heart of hairless of chest.

So after an hour and twenty minutes of being worked on yesterday, I was informed that they were done �for now.�

�What do you mean, �for now?�� I questioned them.
Turns out, that was only stage one of my torture.
I have to go back in four weeks for stage two which will be another hour to hour and a half of work and then I have to return to the dentist for the crown.

Yet somehow, while I have been in all of this oral pain, I still have managed to not only not lose weight, I have actually put on an additional three pounds.

I should be the subject of a scientific study.

I�m sure they�ll figure out my problem after they can tell me why the most painful part of a dental visit is the shots they give you to take away the pain, why the clothes in my closet are able to shrink and why coffee always smells better than it tastes.

And then maybe I will find my keys.