You're Kidding

You're Kidding

	lynetteisfunny
	It's Weenie Dog!
	The Quest for the Holy Meal
	My Love
	scooby's Spring Fling
	Yum!
	Finding Food
	Jesus, It's Mom!
	E-Mail and Awards
	Awards (continued)
	Hope in Heaven
	Trial Hearing
	Let's Eat!
	sign Off
	slogans
	Tubing
	Under-Where
	Perspective
	A Rose by Any Other Name Would Still Stink
	Beam Dreams
	There and Back Again or When Frodo Visits Sam
	Mother of the Year...Not
	PMS SOS
	Bowl Me Over
	Rap It Up
	Kick Trick
	Problem in Translation
	And The Oscar Goes To
	Accent on Computers
	You're Kidding
	Changing Goals
	The Bread of Life
	The Whole Tooth So Help Me God
	Whose Birthday Is It Anyway?
	Ten for Teens
	Mascot Blues, Reds, Greens
	Sweat, Grunts and Groans

Parents do not receive near the amount of respect they�re due.

I know there are some parents who don�t deserve respect but I�m talking about the ones who really try to do a good job.

Let�s face it; not even God wanted to deal with kids.

When he made Adam and Eve, did He have to go through colic? Teething?
Terrible twos?
Puberty?
Of course not. He�s God and He knew what he was doing.

Although if He really didn�t want them to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, He should have told them the apples were good for them. Nothing turns ickier faster than knowing it�s good for you.

I can imagine The Ten Commandments may have read a little differently if God had started with children.

-Thou shall obey the Lord thy God even when thou dost not feel like it. Thou shall accept �Because I said so� without further argument.

-Thou shalt not test the Lord�s patience with the same Barney video day after day after day. Variety is good.

-Thou shall keep thine room clean and only wear clean fig leaves in public.

-Thou shall expand thy diet to include more than just macaroni and cheese, hot dogs and Popsicles. Vegetables are kosher and blessed.

-Thou shall keep thine boogers in thine nose until thou possesseth a tissue for proper disposal.

-Thou shall give ample notice before thy has to make thine waters flow. Even the Lord God cannot produce a clean toilet on a moment�s notice.

-Thou shalt not test the Lord God�s patience beyond normal endurance. It is a sin to try to drive the Lord God out of his almighty mind with endless �why� questions especially at thine bedtime.

-Thou shalt not pay heed to what the other children are allowed to doeth. It maketh not a difference.

-Repeated �knock-knock� jokes are not funny to the Lord, your God. Neither are those dealing with gaseous emissions.

-Thou shall always remember that the Lord God loves you even when He must punish you for thine own good.

But it�s probably a good thing that God made the first humans as adults.
If he had started with teenagers, He would have smote them before they had a chance to reproduce.

I know my children will make wonderful teenagers because they have been practicing for years. They�ve got the belligerence, attitude and sulking down pat.

Tomorrow my son turns thirteen and I�ve decided to place my sanity in a trust.
It�s safer that way.
Perhaps it can draw interest and be even more valuable when I claim it later.

But I doubt it.